But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
