First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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