great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
