He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
false alarm. still invincible.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How external is "for external use only"?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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