i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
