I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
