My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
