i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
