My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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