thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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