We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
