just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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