Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
