I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I have post one night stand depression
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
