I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
