the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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