i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This baby is an asshole
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
