They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
