Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
