So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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