Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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