glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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