we're blogging at a bar
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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