Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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