it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
