Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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