Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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