it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's blow job season.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
