I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
