Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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