she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
