It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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