I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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