i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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