So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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