Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
