out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
