dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
