It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
