Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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