You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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