dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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