It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sarcasm needs its own font
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
