return my video game
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
