She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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