Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
