all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
