you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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