So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
