I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
