:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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