So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
