i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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