What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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