Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
