i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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